That's her in the middle. She wished that she had a better body. She honestly was so self conscience and always wished to look thinner. I wish I could go back in time and punch that girl in the face. And then tell her to rock a bikini everyday because someday you will no longer have a body that can pull that off.
Okay so I stumbled upon these pictures today and a few just like them and was like DANG I used to be so tiny... What happened to that girl? It also was enough to get me to brave the torrential rainstorm outside and get my larger butt into the gym! It was also enough to get my fitness goals back into gear... hopefully!
Also it really made me think about how I view myself. I hate that I have always hated my body. I grew up a little bit on the chunky side and then in between grade 8 and 9 I lost a lot of weight but I don't think my mind actually ever realized that I did. I was always so self conscience and always compared myself to my itsy bitsy friends and never felt like I looked like them. I look back now and want to shake myself and tell myself that I don't need a boy in order to feel good about myself, I don't need lots of friends to feel good about myself, and I don't need to be a size 0 to feel good about myself (because I was so fat and a size 2 in those pictures..ugh). I also realize that I should probably tell my "now" self the same thing!
I was actually watching Oprah (miss her already) and she had a girl who was once completely worldly beautiful and was involved in a car crash that burned and melted her whole face and body. (Story Here) It was devastating to see. I was watching it with my mom and during a commercial break there was a commercial about a place that can sculpt the small problems we have with our body to make us feel perfect. We both wanted to barf. Here is this girl who is still trying in life and willing to be seen by millions on Oprah with her face so disfigured and we all want to take the tiny things we don't like about ourself and change them. My mom looked at me after and said "You are really really pretty and so am I." This has really stuck with me and woke me up. I could look so much worse and need to be happy that I have hands and my face is normal enough that people don't stare at me and the grocery store or turn away when they see me coming.
New Goal: Start being happier about my appearance! Stop putting myself down and just try be the healthiest self I can be.
I know... really random post right? It has only been like 2 months since I have posted and I come back and post about this. Oh well! If you actually read this all I hope you also can love yourselves cause I bet you are so beautiful and fabulous! Love you all!
